Life goes on ?

Golly,I wish I could say that it's all over and I've moved on. The court case was closed and I was aloud to stay with Darry and Sodapop. I'm back at school now, and off bed rest. But, things just haven't been the same.

For the longest time I wanted to believe Johnny wasn't dead. I tried tellin' everyone it was me who had killed the socs boy, But I new all along that that was a lie. My grades were droppin' real low now. I went from gettin' A's in English, to just barely passing, my teacher said if I didn't do good on this last assignment he would have to fail me. Dally wasn't to happy about this, but after what happened with Soda, he wasn't so hard on me.


I felt completely sick to my stomach the night me 'n' Darry found out what we had been doing to Soda. We all had a tough time coping with losing our friends, but Sodapop also lost Sandy, and on top of that, worried about me. Every time me and Darry went at it, Soda was put in the middle. He couldn't chose side, he was too good at understandin' each side and just wanted us to get along. I shoulda noticed he was sad, But I haven't really been ol' myself lately.


I didn't want to do my homework that night so I went to look for another book to read. I had read just about every book in this house about fifty million times. Even some of Darry's books. Finally I picked up Gone with the Wind. A note fell out. It was in Johnny's hand writing. After reading his note it hit me ! The perfect thing to write 'bout, something real important to me. I sat down, and took a moment to remember, to remember a handsome, dark boy with a reckless grin and hot temper - to remember a tough tow headed boy with a cigarette in his mouth and a bitter grin on his face - to remember a quiet defeated looking boy, who had dark eyes with a frightened expression to them. One week had taken them all, and I decided I could tell people. I thought for a while, and then began to write..

One hero. One Hoodlum. Both gone.

It all came floodin' back to me, and as soon as it did, I wished it hadn't. I kept tellin' myself; blank your mind. Don't remember, don't remember. But there was no way I could avoid it. Johnny and Dally are dead.


It happened the night of the rumble. Dally had found a way to escape the hospital making it just in time. The rumble was short, and the socs gave up and ran off, we drove 'em outa their territory. But just as soon as it finished, me 'n' Dally rushed over to the hospital. Johnny was dying, there was no doubt about it. I thought maybe he would look peacefully asleep when he was dead, but he didn't. Johnny looked dead. When the realization hit Dally, he couldn't take it. He bolted through the door and down that hall.



I had to hitch a ride home that night after Dally took off. That was Saturday night, today is Tuesday. I am home now, but I had been at the hospital for a few days. Darry says I was real sick, even delirious. I don't remember bein' in the hospital, but I do remember one thing. Dally had killed himself that night, under a street lamp in the empty lot. The police were on him, he robbed a grocery store and pulled out a gun. The fuzz shot, it was a hit. I knew he was dead before he hit the ground. Dally Winston wanted to die, and he always got what he wanted. Two of me friends died that night, one a hero, the other a hoodlum.

Critical Condition.

I was not lookin' forward to the rumble tonight. Shoot, it was all skin, no weapons. I wasn't feelin' too hot either, but there was no way I was gonna sit out. I'd just take a couple Advil's and suck it up. We were already missin' two of our gang, and even though I was the smallest, I could still hold my own pretty well. But just the thought of the rumble made me worried. After all that's happened lately, it just seems so pointless. Even Randy, the dead soc boy's friend had approached me. He was sick and tired of all this, his best friend was dead now, and even though they had tried to jump us, as he talked to me I learned something about socs. They were real people too, and Randy here was taking it real hard, he wanted to run away and be done with all this for good. He was scared, I didn't know if he would go through with it, but I hope he would.


Dally was pretty dang disappointed he'd be missin' it, he made that real clear when we went to visit him 'n' Johnny at the hospital. Johnny was still in critical condition, we weren't aloud to see him. But Two bit wouldn't take no for an answer, and the doctor came over and told the nurse to let us go on in. It worried me though, Two bit didn't notice, but something 'bout the expression in his voice made me scared. My fears were confirmed when we walked over to his bed side, he wasn't lookin' to good, pale as a ghost, he could barely even speak. When his mom came by, he got real upset and I don't blame him. As far as I knew, Johnny's mom couldn't care less about him. I was real surprised to even see her there, and I guess so was Johnny, he passed out cold arguin' with the nurse about seeing her.


Johnny would never walk again, I was still trying to wrap my head around that, and here the doctor just told us he still might not even pull through. Johnny is too young to die, he doesn't want to die, he doesn't deserve to die. Anyone but Johnny, we could get by with out anyone but him, I felt my stomach drop just thinkin' about it.